# Alternatives to Shrier's Concluding remarks

Shrier's novel ends with several points that she believes to be the best intervention for children who are contemplating their gender identity. The point of this document is how to best *support* children who are questioning their gender, not to intervene. Regardless if one believes in the ideology behind being transgender, a child who comes out as transgender needs support. That isn't the norm and has to be addressed. 

Based on the information found and the conversation, I would like to propose an alternative set of tools to support children. 

1. **Have a conversation and get on the same page**
   1. Many parents express that when their child came out, they "demands" to begin hormones and for their pronouns to be respected immediately. Parents who are used to a specific name and pronouns, are often unprepared and confused when their child changes them. A compromise would be to sit down with the child and understand what their expectations are and where you, as the parent, is coming from. 
2. **Try therapy**
   1. Provide an outlet for your child to address how they feel with a professional. As a parent, explain to the therapist your concerns and expectations. By giving your child an outlet and space to talk, it allows them to better understand where and why they feel as they do. Therapists are neutral and are there to talk through issues with people. Some are specifically gender-affirming while others are more critical of self-identification. 
3. **Socially but not medically transition**
   1. And finally, allow your child to socially transition without the medical side of things. This could involve a haircut or new clothes, but every step is entirely reversible without the child making any irreversible choices. This gives them the space to figure themselves out without necessarily making a mistake. Everyone can remember a "bad haircut", but that's because they had the room to figure it out. The same can go for gender. If they are wrong, at least they know now. 

There are countless guides by professional organizations that have offered advice on this topic. Below are just a few of **many** out there.

For how to support your child: <https://www.strongfamilyalliance.org/parent-guides/parent-guide-trans/parent-actions-that-help/>

Types of therapies commonly used: <https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/treatment/>


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